Numb

 It's just another incredible June. It feels like I have a Deja Vu. I've been here before, and I'm here again. 

There's no significant difference, but I feel numb now. I don't even understand what I actually feel. Just numb. Am I sad? or angry? disappointed? tired? or frustrated? I just feel numb. That's it.
I can still laugh, though. Like nothing happens. Is this normal? LOL.

For some reason, I hope this numbness won't fade away. 

Let me be numb, let me be someone who still can face the world even if in the worst place.. 

I don't know

 Well, there is no explanation for what I feel right now. 

It's yellow and blue at the same time

Perhaps, I can say that I'm in the middle of them.

I don't want to see people coz I have already had a lot of conversations in my head without them. 

Sometimes it's hilarious, but most of the time it's too noisy. 

The funny thing is that it feels like I can watch this world over the night every day without sleeping.

And I only need my 2 companions: cigarettes & coffee.

Every day I just want to skip the time and welcome the next day, but I'm not sure what I should do on that new day. It feels like I'm just waiting for "my turn" while trying to enjoy what I encounter. I feel empty. I feel numb. And I also feel tired. 

I'm living in a body that fights to survive and mind that wants to die...